SUBWAY

Tonight’s short story: SUBWAY! Yesterday I went to Subway and I know, it’s not fashionable to go to Subway and even less fashionable to love boloney but let me remind you that it’s actually TURKEY boloney on the cold cut combo, and that’s a lot healthier. Not since Louis Rich has there been another Turkey boloney so wonderful and so low fat. Now if one of you happens to know something I don’t and the boloney on the cold cut combo is actually full fat boloney, please keep it to yourself or I’ll have to say goodbye to yet another guilty pleasure and I don’t have many left to quit. Back to subway. Whenever I go there, I have a burning itch to tell the sandwich artist that I too worked at Subway and I want to ask if they are old enough to remember the old way they’d cut the bread. Do you remember this? When they’d carve out the top of the bread and pinch out that top part? Why did they stop doing that!!?? Which brings me back to the year 2000 where I’d like to begin this story.

I was 19. Several times a week, my boyfriend and I went to Subway for lunch. I loved it. There was a guy who worked there who we called THE sandwich artist because he’d give me handfuls of black olives and he’d also give us streams of stamps and this was when life was actually wonderful so Subway gave out stamps so you could save up and redeem them for free sandwiches. I was on the 6 inch turkey on white at this time, with lots of black olives.

THE sandwich artist’s generosity must have caught up with him because one day he wasn’t there anymore and there was a flyer that said HIRING. I was not employed at the time—I had been taking some college classes and I heard other people my age say they didn’t work because they were in college, so this is why I went to college. I wasn’t really “going” though. So I filled out the application and I was hired on the spot. During my training I could hardly WAIT to perform the signature Subway bread-boat cut. The guy who trained me was very impressed.

On my first day, I walked into my new job wearing a visor 🤢 just as a tall guy in a wool coat was practically dancing out the door yelling, “I quit!”